DDOG Earnings: Stellar EPS & Guidance... Or Are They?

Datadog's Earnings Soar? Or Are We Just Being Fed More Corporate BS?

Okay, so Datadog (DDOG) stock is apparently "soaring" after their Q3 2025 earnings report. Adjusted earnings per share of 55 cents, beating Wall Street’s estimate of 46 cents. Revenue of $886 million, also beating estimates. Up 17.07% in pre-market trading.

Give me a break.

First off, "analysts' estimates?" Who are these analysts? Are they even real people or just algorithms spitting out numbers based on… well, who knows what these days? And why should I care if they beat some arbitrary number some suit pulled out of thin air?

The Illusion of Growth

A 19.6% increase year-over-year from 46 cents to 55 cents? Sounds impressive, right? But let's be real: it's less than a dime. Are we seriously celebrating pocket change like this is some kind of monumental achievement? It feels like they're trying to distract us from something… what is it?

And this "guidance" for Q4 2025… expecting adjusted EPS between 54 cents and 56 cents. So, basically, the same as Q3. Groundbreaking.

Then there's the full-year guidance: adjusted EPS of $2.00 to $2.02 and revenue between $3.386 billion and $3.39 billion. Analysts (those mythical creatures again) were expecting $3.43 billion in revenue. So, they're lower than expectations. But hey, let's focus on the EPS, right? Shiny numbers, gotta love 'em.

"Strong Buy"? Strong Sell, More Like It.

Wall Street's consensus rating is "Strong Buy," based on 29 Buy and five Hold ratings. Are you kidding me? Five Hold ratings? That's it? Everyone's just blindly jumping on the bandwagon? Where's the critical thinking? Where's the skepticism? Did everyone forget 2008? According to Stocks making the biggest moves midday: Brighthouse Financial, Duolingo, Datadog, Snap & more, Datadog was one of the stocks making the biggest moves midday.

A potential 10.69% upside for the shares, they say. A potential anything is still just potential. It's like saying I potentially could win the lottery. Doesn't mean I'm gonna start planning my mansion purchase.

And what's with all this cookie nonsense? I just tried to research something and got slammed with a wall of legal garbage about "Strictly Necessary Cookies" and "Third-party Cookies." I don't care about your damn cookies! I just want information! This whole internet is turning into one giant surveillance state, and they're trying to normalize it with cutesy names like "Personalization Cookies."

I swear, every time I try to read about stocks, I end up feeling like I need a law degree just to understand the disclaimers. It's all designed to confuse you, to overwhelm you, so you just throw your hands up and trust "the experts."

Who's Really Winning?

Look, I'm not saying Datadog is going to collapse tomorrow. But I am saying that this whole "soaring" narrative feels… forced. Like they're trying too hard to convince us that everything is amazing when, in reality, it's probably just… okay. Solid, maybe. But not "soaring."

Maybe I'm just too cynical. Maybe I'm missing something. But I've been burned before, and I'm not about to blindly trust some corporate press release and a bunch of anonymous "analysts."

So, What's the Real Story Here?

It's the same old song and dance: hype, spin, and a whole lot of smoke and mirrors. Don't fall for it.