Larry Ellison's Latest Scheme: What He's Buying and Why You Should Be Worried

Let's get one thing straight. Larry Ellison didn't just wake up one day at 81 and decide to become a media mogul. This isn't some late-life crisis or a billionaire's hobby. This is an endgame. This is the final, logical step for a man who has spent 50 years building a company designed to know everything about everyone.

Oracle's big new trick, according to Ellison himself, is to "vectorize" all its customer data. He says this with the reverence of a high priest revealing a sacred text. He stood on that stage in Las Vegas, probably under the freezing blast of industrial-strength air conditioning that defines those corporate shrines, and talked about "reasoning models" and "AI agents."

Here's the Nate Ryder translation: Oracle is feeding every scrap of data it has on you—your company's purchases, your support tickets, probably the color of your CEO's socks—into a giant AI blender. The goal? To create a perfect predictive model of what you'll buy next, then aim their sales teams at you like heat-seeking missiles.

Ellison actually said, "We started with customer data because we think there is nothing more important to us than our customers." He then had the gall to add, "Now some people who are cynical, you would say there is nothing more valuable to us than our customers, but they go hand in hand."

No, Larry, we're not being cynical enough. A real cynic understands this isn't about serving customers. It's about wringing every last cent out of them. It's about knowing when to jack up prices, when to trigger a software audit, and how to create a dependency so deep you can't ever leave. Why does a company need to "vectorize" its customers—a move some have called Larry Ellison's latest craze: Vectorizing all the customers—unless it sees them not as partners, but as problems to be solved and wallets to be emptied?

The New King of All Media

So, you've perfected a machine that predicts and manipulates corporate behavior. What's next? Offcourse, you buy the machine that shapes public opinion.

This whole media blitz—his son David fronting an $8 billion deal for Paramount, which gets you CBS, MTV, and the whole damn catalog—isn't a separate venture. It's the other pincer in a global-scale maneuver. And now they're sniffing around Warner Bros. Discovery? That gets you CNN and HBO. This isn't just about making movies. No, 'making movies' doesn't cover it—this is about owning the entire cultural pipeline.

Think about the sheer, terrifying synergy here. You have Oracle, the backbone of global business and government data. You have TikTok's US operations, the algorithm that controls the minds of a billion people, which Ellison's consortium is conveniently taking over with Trump's blessing. And now you're adding the legacy media giants that still tell America what to think at night.

He's not just buying companies; he's buying the source code of reality. He'll have the data on what we do (Oracle), the platform for what we watch (TikTok), and the studios that create the content we consume (Paramount/CBS). It’s a closed loop of influence. A perfectly vertically-integrated empire of the mind. And we're all just supposed to sit here and clap because the guy who made Top Gun: Maverick is involved? Give me a break.

I'm supposed to believe this is all separate from his politics, from his role as a major Trump ally? That a man this obsessed with control won't use his newfound media empire to push an agenda? The naivete is staggering.

Your Friendly Neighborhood God-Emperor

And just when you think the megalomania can't get any more cartoonish, Ellison positions himself as the savior of humanity. The hypocrisy is so dense it could bend light.

He's building a data center in Texas that will consume 1.2 gigawatts of power. For perspective, that's enough to power a major city. A city! He's literally building his own power plants on-site to feed this beast. But don't you worry your pretty little head about climate change. Larry, from his private Hawaiian island, has a solution.

His solution is... more AI.

He showed off a slide of a big greenhouse, talking about a company called Wild Bio that will invent crops to suck CO2 out of the air. It's the ultimate tech-bro fantasy: create an apocalyptic problem with your energy consumption, then promise to solve it with an even more fantastical, unproven technology. It's like a fireman who's also a pyromaniac. He even has a prototype for an Oracle-branded, AI-powered ambulance, because why stop at controlling information and culture when you can control life and death itself?

He's building the infrastructure, buying the media, shaping the narrative, and promising to solve the very crises his industry is accelerating. He's not just building a business anymore; he's trying to become a god. A database god who sees all, knows all, and owns all.

Then again, maybe I'm the one who's lost it. Maybe this 81-year-old college dropout really is weaving together data, media, and synthetic biology to usher in a golden age for humanity. And maybe I'll win the lottery tomorrow.

The thing is, when one man holds the keys to the database, the algorithm, and the newsroom, it doesn't matter what his intentions are. The power itself is the problem. He’s building a world where Oracle isn’t just a company you buy software from... it’s the operating system you live inside.

He's Not Building a Company, He's Building a Kingdom

Let's stop pretending this is about business. This isn't about quarterly earnings or shareholder value anymore. This is about one man, with more money than God and a rapacious appetite for control, attempting to purchase the narrative of our lives. He's consolidating the tools of data, media, and social influence under one dynastic banner. We're not customers or citizens in this new world; we're assets to be vectorized, audiences to be programmed, and problems to be solved by his benevolent AI. This is a coronation, and we're not even invited. We're just the scenery.