Ore: What even is it?

Oreo's "Jotaro" Post: Peak Internet or Just Peak Absurdity?

Alright, so Oreo posted a video called "#jotaro." My first reaction? A confused grunt. I mean, really?

Decoding the Dough: What's the Deal?

Let's be real, OREO! OREOOREO! RE! ORE! OREORE! OREOREOREOREORE!... - Kottke.org gave it some love. 86.47% "loves" it apparently. Okay, but who are these people? Are they the same ones who think Nickelback is underrated? I need answers.

And then there's the comments section. "This made my day," says Jack Hays. Collin Foster-Lawson is losing it, claiming it's the "best no-context post ever." Joseph D calls it "data visualization and data vocalization." What the hell does that even mean? Is this what passes for profound thought these days? Are we all just doomed to meme-ified existence, where the lowest common denominator dictates what's funny?

It's like... like trying to decipher ancient hieroglyphs, except the hieroglyphs are made of processed sugar and artificial flavoring.

Danielle NH chimes in with "Time for a snack!" See? This is what I'm talking about. The bar is so low it's practically buried in the sand.

The Kottke Effect: A Love Affair with the Obscure

Kottke.org has been around since '98. That's practically ancient in internet years. It's like the digital equivalent of that weird antique store your grandma used to drag you to. You know, the one filled with dusty porcelain dolls and unsettling taxidermied animals.

But here's the thing: Kottke's longevity does mean something. It's a filter. It's saying, "Hey, I've seen all the garbage that's come and gone, and I still think this weird Oreo video is worth your time."

Or... maybe it just means Jason Kottke has a soft spot for sugary snacks. I don't know anymore.

Seriously though, what kind of algorithm spits out "86.47% of the web 'loves' kottke.org"? Who's running these numbers? Is it some caffeine-addled intern in a basement somewhere? Or is it a sophisticated AI designed to manipulate our snack-food preferences? I wouldn't put it past 'em.

Oreo's Endgame: Selling Cookies or Selling Out?

Look, I get it. Brands gotta brand. They gotta stay "relevant" and "engage with their audience." But at what cost? Is it worth sacrificing all semblance of artistic integrity for a few fleeting moments of viral fame? I mean, is this Oreo video really any different than that time Wendy's started roasting people on Twitter? It's all just corporate pandering disguised as edgy humor.

And the worst part is, it works. People eat it up. They share it, they comment on it, they even write think-pieces about it (like this one, offcourse). We're all complicit in this endless cycle of manufactured content and fleeting outrage.

Then again, maybe I'm just being a grumpy old man yelling at clouds made of cookie crumbs.

So, What's the Real Flavor Here?

This is either a stroke of marketing genius, or we've officially reached peak absurdity. Probably both. Either way, I need a nap.